Things last night’s second period was worse than: – the first period – having to help an old person wipe his butt – the Panthers announcer’s inability to stop questioning Gagne’s goal – getting your food wrapped up and then leaving it on the table – cave man ads – the Flyers break out – your team not sending you to juniors, but also not letting you play – having “hair” like Danny Heatley or Ryan Getzlaf – having your arena obviously less than half full – having the NHL conspire against you by instructing the refs to always be in your way – leaving your card at a bar in a city you used to be in – the Flyers attempts at retrieving pucks wrapping around the boards – Vinny Prospal’s shield – realizing you forgot to put on deodorant – getting drafted by the Islanders – automatic edit/spell check when you’re trying to write gansta – having a goal taken away because you bump into someone who makes a living bumping into people – standard definition – having your kid see a mascot’s head fall off – being stuck in college when you could be playing in the NHL – remembering you drunk dialed your parents – having someone get on the treadmill with you when you’re in the middle of a run – clearing the puck on yourself when you have a powerplay with less than a minute left and your goalie pulled – being the kid on the far right in this video

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