Washingtion, DC – Today at the White House’s underground hockey rink, President Obama spoke to media, addressing many issues plaguing the American Economy. Aside from bashing AIG and their questionable distribution of million dollar bonuses to executives, President Obama also took on Danny Briere, questioning why a guy who makes 6 million dollars a year can be playing, in the President’s words, “so full of horse shit”. “Look, we need to be responsible and diligent as Americans, that sneaky French Canadians aren’t stealing our money. If a person is going to get 6 million US dollars from the hard working people of Philadelphia, we expect him to generate points and win the Flyers some games, not cause Flyers fans to want to tear their hair out.” The outburst surprised some reporters at the Presidential Rink, named “Buchanan’s Barn” after President James Buchanan’s infamous wrister.

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