PHILADELPHA, PA- Reports are coming in that the CDC has begun closing down all of Philadelphia for fear of a widespread virus that is currently taking over the city.  State highways, schools, government buildings and hoagies shops were all ordered to close their doors for the entire week.  “We have the situation under control, but we are taking precautionary measures to ensure the safety of the Philadelphia community.” J. Weasley of the CDC said as she spoke this morning. Local and Federal authorities believe that the virus, dubbed, “The Pronger Syndrome”  has its origins in South Philadelphia.  Although non-lethal, the virus is said to instill massive amounts of confidence, swagger, and energy for all those affected.  So far, thousands of people are have said to contract the disease over the weekend, and the fear is that millions more will be introduced to the disease as this week unfolds.  So far, the entire Philadelphia Flyers organization is said to have all been diagnosed with The Pronger Syndrome and are receiving vaccinations in the forms of goals scored and penalties killed, since last Friday.  “We started feeling symptoms of this in July, but I’d say things really ramped up late last week.”  Coach John Stevens said today as his team was busy lifting bulldozers at their weight training facility.  The team is responding well to the Pronger Syndrome and look to be the test subjects in what hopes to be a lengthy vaccination period. President Obama is getting involved, signing a bill that suspends all vaccines to the Washington and Pittsburgh area, making sure that the vaccines get to where they are needed most, Philadelphia.  Early test subjects not affected by the virus are display bouts of paranoia, fear and a strong terror of the goal crease.  The CDC bvelieves that on Tuesday night, they could see as many as 19,000 new cases of the Pronger Syndrome diagnosed, with another 20,000+ more by the end of Thursday

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